You've probably heard this a many times as you argued for something you care deeply about: 'be reasonable'. Don't argue too loudly, or too passionately, or don't ask society to change its ways. Being 'reasonable' is drilled into us from childhood, at home and at school. But what does being reasonable even mean? What’s 'reasonable' to one person is outrageous to another. 'Reasonable' behaviour has been defined by outdated standards: don't challenge the status quo, don't rebel too loudly against injustice - just do as you're told and don't ask questions.

We’re living in an age of division. From abortion rights to immigration, gun control to climate change, civil debate has gone out the window. Manners, order, and respect are being eroded. Why can’t we all be reasonable? The trouble is, what’s ‘reasonable’ to one person is outrageous to another. Is it okay to let children play in the garden while others are working from home? To do your makeup on a train, or recline your seat on an aeroplane? What’s the right way to breastfeed? To protect your neighbourhood? To protest against injustice and oppression?

"This was going to be a discussion on masculinities. On sexual practices and gender norms shaped and re-shaped by capitalism. On new ways of navigating cultural uncertainty that don’t require pathologizing the experience of billions of humans as something toxic or unsavoury. On raising girls and boys generously and lovingly so they can be kind, happy and themselves. As the words pop up on my screen, my fingers hitting the keys as they have frantically for days, there isn’t room to contemplate much else aside the fire and rubble of Gaza.