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Social etiquette

Question

Dear all,

I am a guy who moved here to Brussels a little over a year ago for work reasons. I have a question regarding social etiquette in Belgium. Here is the situation. I've become friends with a young lady at work. She has a boyfriend, but lately I get the feeling things are not going so well with him. This young lady has been a great friend when I moved here. She has helped me with translations,finding an appartment and various other practical tasks helping me to get settled in. I would like to thank her back and be her friend in this difficult time she is facing. I recently learnt that her boyfriend will soon go on a travel for business for 1 week and I am thinking of asking her if she would like to go to see an exhibition at a museum with me. I am thinking she could need a distraction and a friendly ear to get her through her tough times. She is very beautiful, funny and kind and I think her boyfriend needs to treat her with the respect she deserves and she should be with a man who knows how to appreciate her properly. What I am thinking of is writing her a poem telling how beautiful she is on the inside and outside and that any man would treasure her, so her boyfriend better treat her right or somebody else will be more than happy to step in. I am thinking this might cheer her up, however, I am worried she might misunderstand the situation, so maybe I should not write a poem to bring along? - Or perhaps I can send some flowers to her address with it attached instead?

I will be grateful for all opinions on this, whether from women or men. Thank you in advance for all responses and enjoy the summer

J

You do NOT write love poems to your colleagues.

Big no-no.

Back off and wait for her to make the first move.

Jul 20, 2018 08:16
anon

As J notes above, it would be totally out of order for you to write a poem to her.

At best, it could be seriously embarrassing for her, at worst, you could be fired for sexual embarrassment.

Stop. Get the crush out of your head.

You really need to grow up. Fast.

Jul 20, 2018 09:41
anon

Don't get your honey where you get your money.

Jul 20, 2018 09:43
idil

no peom, no flowers. just wait, if she is interested, she will let you know already.

Jul 20, 2018 10:28
kasseistamper

By all means tell her that you are interested in the exhibition at the museum and that you plan to go. But no more and certainly don't suggest that you will go when her bf is away.
If she is interested in the exhibition - or in going with you - she will let you know and you can take it from there. If you get no response then accept the news and move on.

And BTW Anon. My daughter has been married for over 30 years; one son is married for 28 years and another son is married for 12 years. All to people whom they met where they work and two of the couples are still both working at the same places where they met.

Jul 20, 2018 12:41
J

KASSEISTAMPER, 30 years ago, you still used to get people photocopying their arse at office partys. Things have moved on by at least a generation...

Jul 20, 2018 22:30
anon

KASSEISTAMPER - I'm sure your family are well adjusted and fine, however, you only need to read the language that the OP is using in their post to realise that they are creeping and drooling over a work colleague in a highly inappropriate and potentially very disturbing way.

"She is very beautiful, funny and kind and I think her boyfriend needs to treat her with the respect she deserves and she should be with a man who knows how to appreciate her properly."

".......... so her boyfriend better treat her right or somebody else will be more than happy to step in."

To be honest, that's the language of a sexual predator.
This post raises a LOT of very large, very red flags.

Jul 21, 2018 10:57
wezembeekwanderer

Generally a good rule to not s*** on your own doorstep.

Jul 21, 2018 11:22
Georgiana

No way. If you like this girl and want to go out with her, tell her that directly. Then she can decide if she wants to leave her boyfriend and go out with you. As other pointed out, it can be complicated going out with someone from work. Also, the current boyfriend may come after you!!! Be very careful.

Jul 25, 2018 20:11