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Bullying in local school
We started our son in a local Belgian school this September and he has had a tough time with some of other kids in the school. I suppose some of it could be seen as playful teasing (if you were really being generous), but some is definitely bullying. My son's teacher agrees, and says that the kids who have been pointed out to her are indeed troublemakers. Two children who specifically targeted my son (together, so two on one) apparently were sent to the principal's office. One of them has bothered my son after this, and one hasn't. Most, if not all, of the aggressive behavior is coming from children older than my son.
My son is understandably bothered by this. He comes home for lunch now, because it is too uncomfortable for him there. He is just learning French so already feels at a disadvantage and vulnerable. And he is young, only in 1st grade. In addition to reassuring him that his teacher is there to help and that we will do what we can, we tell him to stand up for himself. But I don't really think it's the responsibility of a 5-going-on-6-year-old to make himself feel safe at school.
My husband says that at least two of his Belgian colleagues have said that their kids were bullied at school. They used that word. They attended local school, but outside of Brussels. Our baby sitter has said the same. A different teacher at our current school has also told me that bullying is a problem at this school as well as some (but not all) others in the area.
I do not believe children here are meaner or more aggressive than anywhere else, but what I have noticed is a distinct lack of adult supervision at drop-off and recess times. I have been told that this is a problem in many schools, both communal and Catholic.
We are at the end of our rope. Our son is an incredibly social little boy who normally makes friends everywhere he goes. Nevertheless, we anticipated a potentially rocky transition to school here, academically and even socially—but certainly not this.
I am curious if anyone else has had a similar experience, and what the outcome was. Did you manage to make the school work for you? Or did you change to another local school? International school? I would be very grateful for any specific school names people are happy with. Many thanks in advance.
We have never come across this but have heard similar from others. Not just bullying against English or foreign language kids but against others? The Government drew up some legislatives.
See: http://harcelement-entre-eleves.com/images/presse/Bullying_pistesinterve... in French
You should making an appointment with the School Headmaster and discussing this. If you have to threaten legal action against the kids that are doing this, then do it. This sort of thing has to stop!
As Davel above notes, you should make an appointment with the headmaster and speak to them about it. If nothing happens, you can ask to speak to the regional schools inspectorate who will come down on the school like a ton of bricks.
Bullying will happen anywhere where the school has not got it under control. local, international, catholic, or whatever.
And you're absolutely right, it isn't the responsibility of a 5-going-on-6-year-old to make himself feel safe at school.
This happens at any school. My son was bullied by his classmates at an "elite" school due to his terrible acne problems. They would even write his name all around the school with the word "monster" underneath it. Unfortunately, he never came home crying about it and I only found out when emotionally he could no longer handle it. Next day, I went to school and gave them hell. The bullies were called in and warned that if this behavior continued, they will all be expelled from school. My question to the headmaster at the time was how all these people who walk around the school supposedly supervising our children, did not see a student's name written all around the school? The problem was solved, the bullies apologized to my son, but up to this date, he is a very withdrawn young man who is always afraid of being rejected. Also, I will never forgive myself for not finding out sooner. I have tears in my eyes as I write this post. He will always be my hero for going to school knowing that he would be bullied every single day. I really don't know if I would have done the same had I been in his situation. Please solve this problem as soon as possible.
Addition to all of the above. The School is responsible for the situation and must act accordingly. They are accountable for what happens and they must act. In my son's school there is a zero tolerance, if a child is reported for what ever (bullying) the parents are also made responsible. If this carries on, then the offending child is made to leave the school. This is a really big problem for the parents as they will need to find another school that is mostly not convenient. Then they will react. It has to start from the Head of the school making sure they will not tolerate this type of behavior, then following it up with action. This is unacceptable in this day an age. Making a case against the parents and head of the school via the police is a way of making a statement, that you will not accept this. Please don't think it will go away without doing something. As much as the school is responsible for their policies, you are responsible for your child's well being at that age.
Elizabeth, you really have to push this, it was OK to send an e-mail to the principal but you should probably call her directly.
By chatting, you simply ask if she received your e-mail because you are worried that this situation will escalate.
You will then, more than likely, be asked to visit the school along with your son.
Good Luck
Contact the school PMS service. One of ours was in a "problem" class, when she changed school and discovered a small "gang" who were running a bitch-racket against some of the other kids and had been doing so for years. Her letter to the head teacher led to the PMS getting involved and the class went through a series of things to put a stop to it.
The truth of the matter is that some schools ignore it, and some come down on it like a ton of bricks. But the PMS should always provide support.
