Belgian court, victim pays the price

I was happily married for years, but last two years of my marriage were like hell. My ex found his younghood girlfriend via internet, and I assume started using anabolic steroids and became a monster who used to beat my head to the floor and beat me all over my face and body and also tried to cause our car to crash in accident while me and our kids were in the car. Kids also saw beatings and he also crapped 17 yrs old daughter from her throat and threw her to the other side of the room, while she tried to intervent at one occasion when he beated me.

My parents in my country of origin were horrified, because my husband was saying all the time that he will kill me. I did not know local people or family services here, and was also not able to think clearly due to the fear I was facing every day. So my parents asked me to come to my country to save my life. I was desperate and I also saw it as the only way. However, I was afraid to take the children despite the eldest who turned 18 and was able to decide for herself. I taught I would be accused of kidnapping my kids.

I travelled to my country for 2 months, in which time I came here every 2 weeks to see the kids and I also bought airline tickets for them so they stayed with me some weeks in my country. I was planning to start a process to get them to live with me in my country or at least somewhere safe.

In general he had always been a good dad before and I knew that he would not at least beat the kids while I was in my country. After 2 months I came back because he promised to me that he would change and that he loved me and he realized that he was wrong. It lasted just one week and the same beatings continued.

He said to me if I would tell anyone or especially police, he would kill me. I had no choice, I went to see a police and I told them I needed urgent protection. They told me that they could find a secret place in a women's safe house, but that it would be difficult with 3 kids, and if I took only youngest child (3 yrs), they could find a place immediately.

They pointed me a lawyer from the safe house and the process started. My lawyer was a young girl, fresh graduate. I had to cancel hearing 2 times due to illness, and I also had doctor's certificate. Judge told me that it looked bad, to cancel. My ex howevere cancelled 3 times due to travelling, and that was fine for the judge.

I have doctor's certificate of my condition after his violent conduct towards me, but this ridiculous old woman who is a judge of peace refused to believe that this charming father could do any of that. My ex also manipulated our 13 years old daughter to lie in behalf of him, and nowadays that daughter is a mess and I am about to go and talk about her mental state to her school. Other kids are doing fine regarding the circumstances.

The decision made by the judge says that kids must live with the father and I get to see them 2 nights per month! I also need to pay alimentation money for him, plus half of the school bills etc. She said that the reason is because I left to my own country! Me telling that I had to run for my life was not good enough. They made it seem as if I have gone there just for fun.

I am shocked, I am being treated like some drug user mom! My little daughter misses me all the time and cries a lot when we have to separate. I have been working all my life very hard, mostly on IT and before I used to be a social worker. My employer is very content with me. I have never smoked and I don't even drink. I am open personality and very warm mother towards my kids, but ever since getting this decision last June my life has been a hell, I can't understand the decision.

My lawyer did not tell me that I had only one mont appeal time and also we were granted divorce in another EU country the same day this decision was made, which makes the decision illegal. However, there's nothing I can do about it except start a new trial, but I am feeling scared after what happened. I am also not wealthy, I can't afford a good enough and experienced lawyer, which I would need desperately.

My ex had to go to other court hearing just recently regarding the violent behaviour. Prosecutor was convinced that he was guilty and currently I am waiting to hear some news about the decicion even though it wont change the decison regarding my kids.

Any ideas, what to do? How decision like this is possible in Belgium? This could never happen in my country.It is also so cruel regarding children's rights, how comes a 3 yrs old little girl should spend just 2 nights per month with her loving mother?