Brussels' finest beer haunts

Whether your Achilles’ heel is Belgian beer or electro clubbing, there’s always somewhere to go. The problem most people have though, is finding somewhere to begin.

Brussels equals heaven. Once you start your night out, you’re never sure where you’ll end up. Champion of random parties, it’s an excellent place for meeting new and interesting people. Should you decide to pull a so-called nuit blanche, or all-nighter, there’s nothing to stop you from partying till the first metro comes at around 5.30 to whisk you back home. Whether your Achilles’ heel is Belgian beer or electro clubbing, there’s always somewhere to go. The problem most people have though, is finding somewhere to begin.

If you make your way from the Grand’Place down the labyrinth of narrow cobbled side-streets (past the touristtrapping restaurateurs attempting to suck you into their establishments), you’ll find Delirium Café. As soon as you enter the building, you will be struck by the music – sometimes live, sometimes, shock horror, good – or perhaps by the fact that as you walk through the crowd you have to stop and ask yourself, “Is that guy drinking from a fishbowl?”

Either way, you will feel a stronger sense of understanding as to why Delirium’s logo is a giant pink elephant. Eccentricities are the going trend: the walls and ceiling are decorated with ad-panels, posters and drink trays and you’ll find that it truly is a shrine to beer. Ask for the menu and beware, you’ll be handed a phonebook-esque tome of, quite frankly, Biblical proportions. More than 2,000 beers, is all I’ll say. At night the bar is always packed with Belgians and tourists alike and although you really have to know the tricks of the trade to get served efficiently, once you do it’ll definitely be a night to remember – or, you know, er, not.

Another must-go place is Celtica. The Irish pub, which your parents probably know best as ‘the alcoholic’s pub’, stays open from 13.00 to 7.00 and has live music and an upstairs disco every Thursday, Friday and Saturday. That’s not even the gold though, oh no: entrance is always free, and they sell beer for €1 – the cheapest price outside supermarkets.

For that price, I don’t mind sharing a table with the booze hounds who frequent the place. OK, OK, I’ll admit that Celtica’s probably – cough – not the classiest joint in the world, but it is incredibly fun. It’s always, always heaving, and full of regulars because, to be honest, who would let a place like that go? After a couple of visits, you’ll start to recognise more than just a few faces.

Celtica has somehow managed to preserve its treasured grimy pub look despite renovations. Note that there’s a bouncer most nights, so if you look younger than you are, be sure to bring ID, or, if you’re a girl, your winning smile (and push-up bra).

While many bars in Brussels are open until about 7.00 anyway, if you fancy carving up the dance floor, try Fuse. Open since 1994, the club is known as the ‘techno-temple’ for the very reason that it attracts dance worshippers from around the world. It plays techno music, with a few famous DJs cropping up every now and then.

 In comparison with most clubs in Brussels, the beer is cheap at €2.50 a pop and the entrance is only €5 before midnight. The best thing about Fuse though, has got to be the people. None of the stuck-up, Lacoste-wearing, holier-than-thou crowd would be caught dead here. Instead, Fuse attracts more relaxed partygoers and, as there’s no specific dress code, they let in those in jeans and sophisticated drag queens alike.

To top that off, on Saturday mornings a flea market starts at around 6.00 on nearby Place du Jeu de Balle, an excellent place to go and spend the rest of your money, if you have any left – and get a fine memento of the evening.

FIND IT:

Delirium Café, 4A Impasse de la Fidélité/Getrouwheidsgang, Brussels

Celtica, 55 Rue du Marché aux Poulets/Kiekenmarkt, Brussels

Fuse, 208 Rue Blaes/straat, Brussels